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Gum

“Mama, I am going to pretend my crackers are gum. ”
“Okay. ”
“Mama, ask me what I am eating.”
“What are you eating Isaac?”
“I am eating gum.”

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Spitting Music

Tonight Isaac got a new keyboard.

He asked me to play with him and then handed me a bowl. I thought it was a ‘drum’ so I started to turn it over when I noticed it was wet inside.

Isaac said, “Spit in this bowl. This is spitting music.”

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Sister

My best friend has a son who is Isaac’s age and she is pregnant with a girl.

I told Isaac that his friend was going to have a sister soon.

Isaac thought about it for a moment and said.

“I want a sister who doesn’t talk.” 

 

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Queen

Tonight I put on Isaac’s crown and he asked if I was a king.

I said, “no, I’m a queen.”

Isaac said, “you’re not a queen, you are Mama!”

Yes I am, I am indeed.

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Enough

Tonight Isaac and I were sitting on the couch.

He reached for his Baby Night Night and almost fell off the couch. I said, “Please don’t fall off the couch, I love you too much for you to fall off the couch.”

Isaac said, ” You don’t love me too much, you love me enough.”

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Too many dollars

Isaac refers to all financial transactions as ‘too many dollars’. When we play and he tells me he wants to buy a pizza and I hold out my hand he will give me imaginary money and say, ‘here is too many dollars.’ It reminds me of a crotchety old spendthrift who buys only generic potato chips and thinks everything costs too much. Too many dollars!

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Captain Hook

“Mama, Captain Hook is a boy?

“Yes, he is a boy.”

“He looks like a girl?”

“Captain Hook has long hair, but boys can have long hair.”

“He looks like a girl?”

Actually, we have a lot of conversations like this- one of Isaac’s tactics is that if you disagree with him he will keep repeating it until you give up and agree. Here is another conversation along the same lines…

Isaac “How do snowmen walk? Are snowmen mad”

“No, they are not mad.”

“Sometimes snowmen are mad?”

“No, I don’t think they are mad.”

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Buy some toys!

The other day we went to look at a house with a friend of ours who is a realtor (named Joe). After we got in the car to leave the house Isaac said, “Can we stop at the store and buy Joe some toys?” I couldn’t figure out what he meant at first and then we realized… The house was vacant and there was nothing in the house. Isaac thought that the house was where Joe lived, and that Joe needed toys. This kid is so sweet!

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Hurting my feelings

One night I was trying to get Isaac ready for bed. Although he is three I still haven’t really figured out a proper way to get him to happily put on his pajamas and climb into bed and so instead we have a 1 1/2 hour nightly ordeal. One night Isaac was playing on his bed after reading and I wanted him to lie down.

I said, “Isaac, you need to lie down and let me put the covers on you.”

He turned to me and said, “Stop saying that, you are hurting my feelings!”